The Art of Hosting can be learned, perfected with practice, and disciplined in delivery.
A gracious hostess need not be born of the South, though many have been. Hosting is a form of “art”, I believe, and like an art, it can be learned, practiced and perfected.
As I thought of the topic of being a “Hostess”, I immediately jotted down twelve names of women who have opened their doors to me, and their hearts, over the years. Each woman as different in “hosting” as they were in personalities. Think about that …as different in “hosting” as they were in personalities. Your style of hosting, and your very “presence” is desired by others, because it is not how they express themselves, it is enjoyable because its new and different, they’re enjoying all that is “YOU” …truly, there is room at the table for ALL!
This leads me to believe that our homes, also, should reflect who we are, how we live, and how we choose to gather with others. If home is truly your own, why would sharing that with others be anything other than joyous?
I remember, as a young bride, how I quickly found that I had married someone who was quite a people-person, an entertainer extraordinaire! Anything could be a reason to “party”, with anyone available at the time!
To say that this was unnerving for me, is an understatement. Entertaining strangers was FRIGHTENING to me for many reasons:
- I couldn’t cook. Period. Jello in a mold was considered a “fancy” dessert!
- I didn’t really want to spend an entire day, or evening, talking to people I didn’t know, and about topics I knew nothing about!
- I didn’t have pretty furniture, or enough chairs, or dishes, glasses, toilet paper, etc.!
- It wasn’t MY idea to have an impromptu party at the last minute. He didn’t even ASK me!
- I remember saying,” I don’t even KNOW them!” and he replied, “You WILL by the time they leave!” That never went over well. I also didn’t want them to see my insecurities.
- Did I mention I couldn’t cook?!!!
This “sharing of my home” was NOT joyous!
I hate to admit this, but those awkward years, full of unbearable moments when it came to hosting, really did make me want to excel in the simple act of sharing my home with others. I could see things weren’t going to change and I was tired of being a nervous wreck all of the time. Every time I heard, ” Do we have plans for Friday night?”, I felt like I was going to break out in hives!! (NOT exaggerating.)
So, if “things” weren’t going to change, I decided I would change my opinion of hosting, and change my opinion of myself.
I began to see hosting as recreating the moments that I remembered and loved about being at my grandmother’s farmhouse. Yes, she was a great farm cook and baker. Truthfully, that had nothing to do with the joy we had when we were in her home. SHE loved having us there. We knew that. We felt that. We were always happy to be there, sad to leave, and anxious to return! I began to view hospitality as the simple act of opening my door, and myself to others. I’d be sharing the gift of time and attention, sharing and offering food and drink to those who wanted to gather with us, offering their time to us in return.
Later, when my children were preschoolers, I met other mothers’ who would casually invite me over for a coffee, some conversation, and a laugh or two. I began to realize that I so enjoyed these moments, in their warm and welcoming homes, and was grateful to be “accepted” just as I am. I never viewed myself as “shy”, but even that, I felt, could be reduced by practicing hosting others in my home. Determined to be a vivacious hostess, with a presentation that I was pleased with, I MADE myself entertain others, often, and for any reason I could think of. Soon after, I was entertaining on a regular basis, because I enjoyed their presence in my home, time spent and shared together, and the conversations that lingered. More than the enjoyment of “successfully hosting a gathering,” I enjoyed the fact, and my husband did as well, that I was panicking less, the grumbling had ceased, and I was genuinely enjoying myself.
Putting my guests first, and not myself, turned everything around. That very thought makes me ashamed to say, and to admit, but I really had a lot of growing to do. My willingness to do so, turned into a love of creating my home, and a love of sharing it with others.
My desire is to encourage, inspire and support you in any way I can. I want you to throw open your doors, dust off the Welcome mat, and fill your home with the joy of hosting others!
When you’re ready.
Step by step, we’ll get there! And we’ll share a laugh or two along the way!
In review, there are only two things to remember, or maybe three:
- There are NO strangers, only friends you haven’t yet met, and
- There are NO known allergic reactions to Hosting (splotches and hives don’t count!) …and,
- Jell-O “in a mold!!!” is still killer FUN…though I don’t get many requests for it!!
I’ll be writing more on hosting, with Easter around the corner, and lake life entertaining starting in May, there will be plenty of parties to plan and share! I’ll be sharing fun and easy recipes for food and drinks, and simple, seasonal tablescapes to try in your own home……stay close friends!
After you offer a beverage, offer a homemade chocolate chip cookie, from the Magnolia Cookbook, Vol. 1, and you’ll have a friend for life!
The same cookies, party style, individually wrapped for a take-home treat!
Remember to have FUN with this, this Hospitality venture! And most of all, ENJOY!
Happy Hosting,
and hugs!
xx,
